“This just came in,” Taylor (Max Martini) announces, before briefing Christian on the highlights: where Jack went to college, as well as his previous work history. If that’s not a sign that you should start buying smaller homes, I don’t know what is.Īnd an hour into the movie, Christian is handed a dossier on good ol’ Jack. There are two different scenes in which Christian can’t find Anastasia because she’s in another room. I was thinking about where that spoon had been and worrying about the poor sap who would eventually eat the rest of that ice cream. “You do wanna have kids someday, right?” Anastasia asks Christian - after their honeymoon.Īs they took turns spooning ice cream onto each other’s naughty places, going back several times to scoop out more, I wasn’t thinking about arousal. There are plenty of other head-scratchers - and by that I’m referring to things that are puzzling, not some obscure devices in Christian’s infamous Red Room. You’re supposed to be the brains in the relationship. In the past few days, you’ve gained a ’round-the-clock security detail, your husband told you Jack sabotaged his helicopter, causing it to crash, and you just survived a high-speed car chase - and then immediately had sex in the passenger’s seat. “Why is there a gun in your desk?” she demands. (Sure, why not?) She returns to the sink visibly shaken. Despite the perpetrator’s face being obscured in a blurry security video, Anastasia immediately recognizes that it’s Jack.Īfter returning to Seattle, Anastasia tears herself away from some foreplay to track down a pair of scissors so she can cut Christian’s hair.
Their honeymoon montage is interrupted by a call from Christian’s company, letting them know that someone downloaded some of Christian’s personal files, then set fire to the server room. I won’t go into much detail about the story, because “Fifty Shades Freed” - whatever that means - contains roughly the same amount of plot as a Bazooka Joe comic.īasically, Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson), Anastasia’s former boss, continues to stalk the happy couple. That’s pretty much how death works, sport.
Somewhere in the middle of “Fifty Shades Freed,” a distraught Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) tells his new bride, the former Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), about the dream he just had. Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson return as Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele in "Fifty Shades Freed." Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson return as Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele in "Fifty Shades Freed." Universal Pictures
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